Easy Paint Stripping

I don’t know what all the fuss is about paint stripping.

There are SO many tools that promise to make it swift and easy. I’ve seen:

Wire flails to go in your drill…I can just hear my Mom yelling, “You’re gonna put an eye out with that thing!”

Metal paint scrapers that wouldn’t scrape lard off a hot, Teflon, non-stick frying pan.

Carbide paint scrapers that are sharp enough to actually shave with.

Chemicals that probably were harvested from the most toxic portions of Chernobyl.

Flame throwers (Yes, they work, but what’s the point in removing the paint before burning your house down?)

So called “Heat guns.” Yeah. That’s my wife’s hair dryer, given an extra hot setting, colored a manly red, and relabeled a “gun” to try to make it even more a “manly” power tool. Heh…nope. It’s not manly. If it’s not shooting flames, cutting, tearing, or rending anything within reach, or at least causing the hair to stand up on the back of every trauma surgeon’s neck it’s simply not a manly tool. If I wanted to blow hot air on my house I’d call some politicians…

Then there’s those space-aged infrared thingies…the “quartz-tubed infra sparkmeister decible impared glowy thingy”. It LOOKS like a sufficiently injury enhancing device to be a manly tool…and it DOES have glowy things and well…diabolical enough looks…but with a price tag just over what I actually paid for the house…I haven’t gotten to try one yet. Maybe if it sounded like a chainsaw…or…Oooo! Oooo! I could attach a propane tank!

Anyway…I don’t know what all you wussies need these fancy newfangled gadgets for anyhows…

Let me introduce you to the “Pinch and Pull” method.

Pull and peel method

Simply pinch

Pinch and pull method

...and pull.

Peel and pull

It comes off in handy sheets...

Peel and pull method

Very large sheets...

One of the coolest things about this method…is I don’t actually have to do it. Friends, strangers, hell, even passers-by on the street seem to feel this overwhelming urge to grab at some paint and peel it off the house. Heck, a good storm would probably take half of it off.

Hey Look! I invented the self-stripping house!

Peel and pull...temptation

Come on...you know you wannna...

ps: No hate mail please…tongue is firmly in cheek here…

Daniel Meyer

About Daniel Meyer

Author. Adventurer. Electrician.
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